Thursday, February 3, 2011

New Song

The function of worship has always been one of vital importance to my faith. Coming into the presence of the most high, offering myself, all that I have, to honor and praise the Creator. I am an imperfect offering. Unworthy to look upon the most High God. Yet HE asks for my attention. HE asks for my worship. I can do no less than give my praise. The form of worship is irrelevant. I do not care if I am in a cathedral surrounded by pipes booming out His majesty or in a woods listening to the water gurgling it's joy to the maker. Hymns, choruses, songs with words, songs without, high church liturgy or free flow worship...they are all worship. Worship is the intentional honoring the High King of Heaven in relationship.

I love to worship.

I love to sing.

I mentioned in the fall that I sing on the worship team here. This has been a growing experience. It has been a good experience.  Each week I am challenged to give myself to the worship and still pay attention to what we are doing as a team. When I commented about this struggle to really worship while leading, My sister said " It will come." She has led worship for awhile. Still, I had a hard time believing her. But it turns out she is correct. I am getting there. I am getting more comfortable.

Our families came for Christmas in two shifts this year. Mine came over New Years and it happened I was scheduled to sing that Sunday. Thursday night I went to rehearsal, and practiced and our leader said "Someone needs to solo this song during communion."  I walked over to my friend who plays piano and looked at the music. "Hmmmm, I could probably do that.." Said more to myself than anyone else. We launched into rehearsing the rest of the music. When we finished our leader said to me:
"So you got the solo?" 
Stutter... Look at piano playing friend " Do you think I can?" 
She says "It is right in your sweet spot, do you have time to practice?"
" I can make time, Mom will be here to play with the kids. "

"ok. I'll do it"

She stays and goes over it a few times with me. I am shaking and excited. It isn't difficult. But solos make me nervous VERY nervous.  By Saturday evening I am sure I should wriggle my way out of this. My sister and I go on a pizza run. I sing it for her in the car a capella... I am shaky but have the basic tune. Sis says " don't be tentative." Sis knows the song really, really well. "Okay."

Sunday morning at rehearsal I did well. I was comfortable but nervy. Prayer time helped and service started. Communion time came and I was offering the song to God. I did make a mistake. I looked at  my accompanist and she helped me get back on track. And I just sang. I worshiped and I loved it. The act of obedience will send you flying. Choosing to step out and give my nerve to Him allowed me to have an amazing experience. I will not say it was easy. But the center of His will is where I want to be.

Lord, help me set myself aside and  focus on being obedient in the center of your will.

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