Tuesday, August 24, 2010

The first day of school, this year

New school year. New school. New clothes. New teachers. New friends. New school supplies (I shiver with happiness, for I am addicted). New schedule. New chores. Fall has become as much a time for new as spring.

Love Bug & Bright One are off to their first day of the 2010 -2011 school year. The summer went by very fast. I am overwhelmed that it is time for school already. Time for routines and new experiences without me. I am happy for them. I am looking forward to getting to know a new school family. It is an adventure in the waiting.

I am lonely. I am working to establish a routine for myself. I am not so good at it. I don't like structure. But OH! how I need it. Anne of Green Gables says to Marilla "tomorrow is always fresh with no mistakes in it." It reminds me that, even if I do not stick to my schedule, God redeems my time. He will work all things together for good. I must hold on to that when I want to berate myself for an unproductive day. In a way this is a new start for me as well as for my kids. I am recreating my days. I want to be excellent in the way I live. I want to rejoice in every situation. It doesn't matter if I am cleaning up dirty dishes or creating something on my sewing machine. This year is going to be my adventure in Joy and Thankfulness, rediscovering who Caite is as mom, wife, and child of God.

Thank you Father, for a new start, a clean slate. Lord, be my guide. Keep turning me to you in each moment. 

Saturday, August 21, 2010


Today I am 36.

Birthdays are fun,a little strange and disconcerting. Disconcerting because it is weird to think I am halfway to 72. This is my day to look back and evaluate where I am. Have I met my goals for the year? Have I been obedient to the Lord? Where am I going this coming year? I think your birthday is perhaps better than New Years. Because it belongs to just you. You can set your goals, decide on new paths, seek the Lord for guidance.

My day was quiet. The Admiral took the girls shopping so I had some time to myself. They bought me a new watch. A wonderful and needed gift. Then we headed to a friend's 4 year old's birthday party. His B-day is actually the 24th but today was the celebration. It was fun to get to share my special day with this precious little boy!

Lord Jesus Lead me down the paths you choose for me this year. Teach me to hear you in every moment and every situation. Give me a hunger for you that never ends. Thank you for being you.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

In All things, Be Excellent

Today the Admiral and I had lunch at an inner-city sub shop in a Midwestern city. This is the type of place where you can watch them create your perfect sub. We stood watching the young man place the meat on the bread very slowly. Then the veggie guy puttered along barely speaking loud enough to be heard. Eventually they finished making our sandwich but neither of them knew how to check us out. They muttered to each other for a minute or two. A young woman came out from the back and the guys muttered at her. She looked up, saw us waiting, snapped at the guys, then wandered over and allowed us to pay for our meal. I sat down feeling unwanted and unwelcome.

Why tell you all this?

I tell you because as I watched these two young men fumble around "to serve" us, not really caring that we were there, I felt judgmental and critical. I was irritable about their lack of pride in their work and in themselves. Then the Lord spoke to me. " You are not excellent in all things either. You are being critical of them, yet you haven't been giving your all in each thing you take on. You have taken on too many things to do your best at any of them."


Lord, let me be excellent in each thing that I do. Let me perseve to do my very best as an offering to my holy Father.  Lord, give me clear guidance to seek you for each activity, that I might honor you.

Work out day #3

I decided not to write back on day one. Why? Well because I am somewhat sick of day ones. Day one is a special day, a new beginning, a start. Day one implies new determination. Well I have had LOTS of day ones. I want to have a day 320 and a day "I can't remember how many because this is just who I am." I am so tired of starting and not finishing or starting and stopping. So when I looked at photograph of myself and had viscerally disgusted reaction and said to myself "You need to get serious. You need to change some things and get this stopped before you wake up and are unable to to walk!" I am a beautiful and wonderful person. The mirror doesn't show me the person I know that I am.
I promised the girls a trip to the pool at the Y. I stuck my tennis shoes in the bag on the sly so I wouldn't come up with an excuse not to go. I told the girls that I had to use the elliptical trainer for 30 minutes before we could go to the pool. So they went to child watch to play and I did 35 minutes on the machine. When we got to the pool I did some stretching and crunches.
As of today We have been back three times on schedule. I am awfully annoyed by the whole process. The breathing hard, the numbness in my feet, the time it takes. I am simultaneously proud of myself for managing 3 days. I am started again in my desire to be healthier. I want to persevere. I want to learn to like the woman in mirror. God Loves her and so should I.

Lord, I need you. I need your strength. I need your help. I want to persevere and be healthy so that I have energy to do the things you call me to. I believe your word were it says I am heir to the throne of heaven and therefore a princess, inside and out. Thank you for making me a wonderful work of your art.

Friday, August 6, 2010

A Big Day

         Today began with breakfast with Busia& Grandpa. After a few morning chores, we were off for adventures. First stop: lunch was at the Rainforest Cafe. How much fun! Snakes, gators, gorillas, thunderstorms and yummy food! If you haven't tried this experience, I highly recommend it! The girls went into sensory overload almost immediately. Eventually they calmed down and were able to screw up their courage and look around at all the super neat things.
         Following lunch, we all headed to the Legoland Discovery Center. WOW! When you enter this place you are immediately treated to a mini land of downtown Chicago. All your favorite landmarks are there. The details are stunning. There was even a mini figurine of Batman on the Sear Tower. The Buckingham Fountain even lit up. It was so very cool. I could have spent hours searching out the myriad of Lego details. Then we explored the Jungle Expedition, Dragon Ride, Movie Theater (twice), and the Test Center. Love Bug and Bright One had a ball!
Bright One was very diligent in her building, testing, and subsequent destruction of Lego cars. In all it was a very tiring afternoon.
         We arrived home late. Grandpa grilled brats and hot dogs. We had a wonderful dinner, thanks to Busia & Grandpa. After our long, full day, we all pretty much crashed  WE gor the girls tucked in and that was the end of it. A big day and a blessed one!
         Observing my girls today, I noticed that what they perceived as reality caused serious fear. As the mechanical snake at Rainforest shifted and moved. Bright One panicked because she was sure it was coming after them. She was unable to separate between pretend and real. Sensory overload does this to us. We don't take time to process what we are seeing and the fear takes over. This is one of Satan's most effective tricks. Our perception becomes reality and we want to get away or hide from the "danger". God wants us to stop and look to Him for our reality. He desires that I trust Him in circumstances that I perceive as dangerous, just as a parent shows his child that it is just a machine, not a dangerous jungle snake.
          My prayer today is that we as parents would have the courage and patience to teach our children to see what God would have us see. Teaching them to be aware of the schemes the evil one creates to distract and overwhelm our senses. Dear Ones, Believe that God has so much more for us than we can see or imagine!

Lord God you are genuine, real, and excellent. Help me to teach my children to look for you and not to be distracted by the schemes of Satan. May You oh LORD be out reality every day