Thursday, March 31, 2011

Adventures on the horizon

Life should be an adventure. A journey of experiences from which we learn and grow. Routine is important. Can adventure be part of the routine? I think so. I am out to pay more attention to the adventure. I want to focus less on the "we shoulds" and "somedays". More on the today. The Lord is bringing adventure into our lives every moment. Are you living those adventures or trying to avoid them?

Ever since I met my husband and figured out that he would be my husband I thought that if the Lord ever blessed us with children I would home school them. Then I met my first born and decided that wasn't a good idea. We are cut from the same bolt of cloth and regularly butt heads. So off to preschool she went. That was a good thing. Now, 3+ years later, she is finishing up second grade and her sister is finishing up kindergarten. These years of school days have been crazy, good, not good, ok, wonderful and my girls have learned so much! T reads everything she can get her hands on and wants more. Pixie loves "teaching" you what she has learned.

This school year has progressed and is now winding down. The Admiral and I talk about  next year with reservations. While nothing has gone "wrong" this year, it just doesn't seem like a good fit.

What to do for next school year? The scripture says that "for everything there is a season." (Ecclesiastes 3:1)  I think now is our season to home school.  The Admiral does too.

Some of my frustrations this year have to do with time. The girls want to dance, play sports, and have music lessons. They want to create stuff. We get up at 6:45/ 7ish to be ready to be at school on time. This means they have to be in bed by 8pm. The 4 hours between school letting out are filled up with homework, piano practice and dinner. I am very aware that there are many many kids who go to school all day and still take part in lots of extra- curricular activities. I just haven't figured out to make that work and everyone still get enough sleep. If we home school there are lots of daytime programs. The flexibility to play soccer for 8 weeks and then swimming, followed perhaps by gymnastics, excites me!

I have a great deal of peace with this decision. That peace is allowing me to deal with my nerves as I research curriculum, activities, and make plans. Home schooling is a huge ball to keep in the air. I must decide what other balls 

I  will let you in on a little secret.

This whole idea makes me nervous. I doubt myself. I have so much peace, I know this is where God is leading our family. Now I need to get my confidence up. So I am planning, and researching for next school year. It is so wild all the options available. So friends my prayer is for wisdom and balance.


Friday, March 18, 2011

Sick, ick, ugh, and getting moving again

Last weekend I got ahead on my writing. I was so excited. Then on Wednesday I woke up sick. Vicious headache, sore throat and other yuck. URGH! Now 2 days later I am still not 100%. But I am tired of trying rest unsuccessfully.

When something scuttles my momentum like this I find getting moving again a struggle.  So this morning I got up. Late. But I count it success. I got us out of the house with help and shockingly on time. I will count this success again. Not only that, I also have everything I needed to take with me. I am sitting here trying to remember what to do next. I hate it when my brain doesn't work like I think it should. Struggling to focus. I made a  to do list. I know there is more to go on it. But for the life of me I cannot think of what.

Then I see the daffodils that signal spring for me. They lighten my heart and remind me this is not forever.

Lord, Guide this day. Give me clarity to move and accomplish what needs done. Bless you Father for all that you are. Thank you for all that you are!

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

What is your passion? part 2

On Saturday I discussed passion and dreams. Everyone has them. Some of  us have too many to focus on any one dream.

Yet every day we make decisions.

We make choices on which activities are the most important toward our goals for that day. Do you have big goals for the day or will you be content to get dinner on the table in a timely manner? Do you know where you are going or are you floating through your days with no thought to direction or eventual destination?  Have you thought about where you want to end up? I find myself overwhelmed by the choices of what to do with myself.

There was an after school special when I was a kid. "The Million Dollar Cat" This cat had wisdom. My favorite quote comes from this fine movie " Inch by inch, life is a cinch. Yard by yard, it's very hard!"  I feel overwhelmed thinking about the big picture. But thinking about this week or that specific project or this month, I can conquer that. It is a smaller goal that I can handle. I can grab a hold of a project. That goal is small enough to take it on. Little by little each task or goal can be broken down into tiny doable segments. When I just say I want to write a book - that overwhelms me. It is too big. Too intimidating. I must, must, break it down into pieces I can handle.

So as you think and pray about your dreams, your goals. Don't overwhelm yourself. Breakdown the goal into doable pieces. Be realistic. Make the segments small and doable. Celebrate those little successes. Focus on the the first step. Conquer it. Keep trying until you conquer it. Celebrate conquering that step. Focus on the next step. Conquer it.

Pray, pray, pray! For direction, wisdom, stamina and endurance. Ask him to light your path. Do not worry about 5 steps in the future. Work on the next step.

Lord help me to focus on the next step and trust you to keep me directed and motivated toward the goals you want to me pursue.

Monday, March 14, 2011

A blank wall


I don't hear anything.

A blank page.

A blank screen.

Ideas pop in and then swoosh they are gone.

A while ago I started writing this blog because I felt the push to write. To write what the Lord was teaching me. To write the lessons in the little everyday happenings. It wasn't comfortable. I was irritated that God was asking  this of me. I chose the blog format because of the accountability. Thank you so much friends for holding me accountable and encouraging me. I want "Whisper" to grow. Then I run into the blank wall. My hearing is muffled. Is God speaking? What am I supposed to write? Other times I cannot get everything down fast enough and I lose it. So frustrating.

So now I am on the other side of yet another blank wall. I am writing again and seeking the Father for direction and wisdom. I have come to enjoy the process of writing. It is only the wall that frustrates.

I am adding a passage of scripture to my mission for this blog. That scripture is I Kings 19: 11 - 13. This passage describes Elijah being sent to the mountain for Lord is going to pass by.  The Lord was not in the wind, fire, or the earthquake. The Lord was in the silence. I have found that the blank wall fades only when I quiet myself and listen in the silence. He comes to me when I settle not when I quake or rail like a storm.

I am overcoming the wall, listening for His whisper, and whispering my own thoughts forward.

Lord help me to wait on you. Help me to listen for you in the silence.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

What is your passion?

If you were guaranteed you wouldn’t fail (or look goofy) what would you LOVE to do?

Kat at Inspired to Action issued this challenge. I have thought about it all week. What would I do? What is my passion? Is it possible to have multiple passions? I have so many things I enjoy. So many things I can excel doing. So much to choose from.

I would love to make money creating events (weddings, fundraisers, banquets, etc.) for folks. I would love to be a resource speaker / writer and be in active ministry. I would love to work at a living History site (like Colonial Williamsburg) sharing stories and history with the public.

There are so many things that interest me. I find myself waffling between dreams. Which is the one? Which will be the most fulfilling, in the center of God's will?

This brings up another chain of thought. I own a small home business with amazing potential. I love the people part of my business. The being with people. The prep work and the bookwork is an annoying side note. I know, KNOW, I could be wildly successful if I would just apply myself. How to motivate myself? My up line has asked me again and again "What will motivate you?!?!"  The answer is.... "I have No Idea."

So back to the original question :
             If you were guaranteed you wouldn't fail ( or look goofy ) what would you LOVE to do?

What is you passion?     and      How do you find it?

Lord show me the passion you have for me. Show me the motivation to go after the dream that is your will for my life!

Friday, March 11, 2011

Bottling it up.... Bad Idea.

So I have made a mistake.

( mass Gasp!)

This is life. We all make mistakes. The course of action should be ask forgiveness, make it right, and move on. I seem to add another step. Beat myself to an emotional pulp.  Repeat. Cry some. Repeat. Try to breathe.

For the space of a week or two I bottled up my self disgust and anger. I tried to push it into a closet or stuff it into a box that I could hideaway. Hoping it would just dissipate or vanish. You know "out of sight and out of mind"?

Did you know this doesn't work?

It causes random bursts of emotions, anxiety in otherwise calm moments, inability to think clearly. In short bottling up these emotions - bad idea.

Monday, My friend,W, came over and I unloaded my brain all over her. Thank heaven.

Friends... Are you giving in to self disgust and self hatred? Give these things to God. Find a good friend you trust who will listen and remind you when your thinking stinks. Remind you of your worth and the truth of how God views you. Tell you how precious you are. Tell you that all people make mistakes, big and small. Remind you that self disgust and anger are not productive. AND this person should be willing to push you in love to create and stick to a plan to move past the mistake.

In the words of Pray for Rain:  "you gotta let go!"

Lord help me to forgive myself and ban the beat up monster.