Saturday, February 27, 2010

anger, disappointment, & sadness

I am Angry.
Utterly angry. I have learned something today that I shouldn't know yet. This knowledge leaves me angry, disappointed and sad.  I am struggling with how to respond. I do not want to sin. I do in theory understand this person's thought process. I think I understand the need for this coming action. My innermost person has empathy for the dilemma and situation. My 'mama bear' instinct is angry and disappointed. This action will create, for my daughter, pain and confusion. The disappointment and angry emotions feel overwhelming. I feel helpless. Helpless in the face of my child's pending confusion. Helpless in the face this individual's convictions and decision. 

Now several hours have passed and a long painful conversation is over. I am not sure I fully understand.

Do I need to understand?

Do I need to protect my baby girl from this? Can I?

I am praying. Praying for wisdom. Praying for understanding. Praying I do not  run screaming into the sunset and give up entirely.

Abba daddy, Help me. Help me not to sin in my anger. Help me to forgive.

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