Every now and then The Lord zings me with a lesson out of the cosmos. I had no idea it was coming and no warning I was about to be "zinged". This can be slightly shocking like standing next to a fence chatting with a friend and casually leaning on the fence only to be rudely reminded that the fence is indeed electrified - "ZZZAAAAPPPP!" This is at best startling and at worst slightly painful. I know. The fence thing is an incident from my childhood.
This past week and weekend I spent a myriad of hours working on a rummage sale for the girl's school. Sorting, pricing, standing around, straightening, cleaning packing and all the things that go with rummage sales. I signed up for this so do not feel sorry for me... I brought the work on myself. I am proud and thrilled that my team of VERY dedicated parents raised over $1000 on the rummage sale. I am also a little frustrated that in the face of the need a thousand dollars is a drop in a huge bucket. However it is a drop we didn't have before. In the midst of all the sorting and straightening I discovered something that has rocked me to the core. This has caused me no small amount of distress. I mentioned in my previous post that I was angry about it. I am. Also sad and feeling helpless. Today as I was weeping and feeling sorry for myself I decided to have chocolate. Because that always brings comfort, right? So I unwrapped the chocolate bar with roasted almonds, which happens to be my absolute favorite, and broke off a piece. It was lovely, but soon gone. So I got another piece and another... and on my way to the fourth ... ZAP!
Why indeed. The Scripture is so clear. Many, many, times I have experienced His comfort. His Holy Spirit is the comforter. God wants to carry us through our trials. I need to turn to Him in my distress, allow Him to be comfort AND strength. So today has been a lesson in binging on the Comforter. A lesson on choosing to be comforted because HE is walking through this valley by my side.
Daddy, I am sad. I am hurting. I am confused and uncertain. You are big enough. You are enough for me. You, Lord God, can overcome this. Please give to me the courage to turn aside and grieve while you comfort me. The desire for you as comfort instead of food. Teach me to reach out Lord to you. Caite