Monday, December 20, 2010

Did you see Me?!?!?

It is always a joy and a privilege to watch your child perform. Hard work and weeks of practice finally paying off. She marches up the aisle with enthusiasm and excitement. Sister confidently takes her place. Little girl smiles tremulously and stretches her neck trying to find us in the huge crowd of parents and grandparents. The annual school advent program for kindergarten, first, & second grade. Everyone worked exceedingly hard. It was a fun presentation!
     We arrived early  and dropped each daughter off in their classrooms. Then we headed to the sanctuary to find seats. Soon the children processed in, our girls smiling as they looked for us.  We strained to see them amid the earnest faces. The evening progressed and Love Bug sang her part beautifully. Then Bright One's group got set up. She delivered her lines with panache, speed, and supreme cuteness! ( yes. I am biased.) The pageant ended. The children returned to the their classrooms. As they recessed out of the church, I waved at Bright One and she waved back. I bursting with pride in both girls and ready for some cookies. It took a few minutes to traverse the crowded hallways.  Love Bug's classroom is at the far end of a long hallway and several folks stopped me to chat on the way back to the cookies. Bright One's teacher caught me. I sent my big girl to go and find her daddy. The teacher tells me that upon returning to the classroom Bright One burst into tears. She insisted that we didn't see her at all during the show because she apparently never saw us. By the time I got to the cookie party little girl was calmed down but very serious as she told me why she was upset. She couldn't find us in the huge crowd and was sure we hadn't seen her. Daddy convinced her that we had indeed witnessed her performance.

Bright One with her BFF after the program
Later, I reflected on the incident. Bright One did an excellent job. She sang her songs with passion and joy. She delivered her lines clearly. Her thoughts? "Did You see me, Mama?!?" " Did you see Me, Daddy?!?" "Are you proud of me?" Then her joy is stolen. "Mama didn't see me. I couldn't find them." Her perception that we couldn't have seen her. Not truth. But perception none the less.  We are like this sweet child.  "Did you see me God? Are you watching? Are you proud of me, Lord?" " Are you there,Jesus?"  Our perception that He doesn't see when we hurt or do well? Yet he does and He cherishes our victories. He feels our hurt. Christ knows what it is to be human.  Our Lord chose to become human and endure all that we do and so much more. I am so thankful for this reminder in the form of my daughter's tear-stained face. A reminder that truth is different than my perception. I can call out to Him for reassurance. I can seek Him in His Word. He wants me to seek Him in the crowd. God wants me to find Him.

Have you sought Him in every circumstance lately? Even when all appears that He is not watching, He promises in His Word to care for us every day.

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