Into every life some relaxation must come. I hope. The last months in our home have been busy. Many obligations and many happenings made me feel like I was treading hard and working to keep my head above water. Now that I have survived the storm and have my feet on land again I am looking back at the recent past wondering if it is possible to avoid such a glut of activity in the future. Do I want to avoid it? Should I avoid it? Is this plethora of commitments just a season that the Lord has brought about for a reason? Or is it my own failure to say "NO." to some things.
I do not have the answers to these things. I think perhaps this massive busyness comes from a vast collection of varied interests. This makes me think of the scripture that says " No man can serve 2 masters..." Is that what I am trying to do? Serve multiple masters? I am not sure but I am looking at it. So over the last months I have been prepping for the new re-enacting season. This includes letting out seams on little girl's dresses, making replacements for things that have worn out, planning meal's etc. I have also been volunteering nearly full time at my children's school. This came about as a result of financial difficulties. I started out co-coordinating volunteers, which I enjoy doing. However by the year's end I was coordinating the last three weeks of projects. In hindsight ...I am glad we did the last three weeks. Would I do it again? Only if God was VERY clear that I should. This process wore me out and left me feeling that I had neglected my family. Families were very thankful. They expressed their appreciation of me and the myriad of others who helped in abundance. I am grateful for that appreciation. It always feels good to be appreciated. However this didn't change that I feel like I let my family down during the last month. Other things found their way into the time cracks that were left and at the end I felt a bit like a dish rag wrung out over and over again.
So now I am a week away from the end of school. My wonderful, tired girls went and spent 3 days with their wonderful Busia and Grandpa. I had a blissful 3 days to putter around and be alone. I had rather grand plans for these days of all I would get done. For the record - I didn't do the plans. I am sure few of you are shocked by this. I did spend time with Abba God. I did pick berries and make jam- because I wanted to. I did spend LOTS of quality time with the Admiral. This was good. These days of no plans have rejuvenated me a bit. I am still tired. Mentally rebuilding. I am looking back and evaluating myself. The thing is I like to do lots of things. I like having lots of interests. I even like being busy. So why do i feel so drained?
Daddy - God...
Wrap me up in your peace and comfort. Thank you for being a God of second chances. Thank you for loving me through my busy-ness. Please give me wisdom in the future to know what to focus on and what to let go. Please help me to be content with those decisions and not to regret that which I let go. Caite- girl