Of Elephants and Trust

          Thanksgiving was a lovely, quiet, and silly day. We talked repeatedly of  what we are Thankful for this year, month, and week. Now Bright One mentions her thankfulness on a regular interval throughout the day. We had family, fabulous food, and fun! Thanksgiving, regardless of its roots, is a wonderful reminder to take stock, give thanks, and be aware of God's blessings in our life.
           Today, Black Friday, did not see me shopping. I do not find shopping a greatly enjoyable experience at the best of times. I like to get new things like the next girl. But I do not like crowds, pressure and frantic feelings. Therefore I was thrilled that Grandpa and Busia had other plans. Today's adventure began with breakfast and then a trip to Chicago's United Center for the Ringling Bros. Barnum & Bailey Circus - The greatest show on Earth. What Fun! We arrived early for the pre-show that involved being on the show floor talking to the clowns as they applied their makeup, seeing the elephants up close and personal as they painted pictures, and watching the high wire artists warm up on the low wire. Great excitement to be up close to the performers, especially the elephants. We found our seats and the clowns went crazy! The two hours flew past in a cascade of action, action everywhere. Often I didn't know where to look because there was action in every part of the arena. They do tricks in one corner of the arena and when they finish you look back the the set has totally changed. There was even an act on the ceiling! Love Bug and Bright One watched and chattered, asking thousands of questions. Love Bug said her favorite part was when they disappeared the elephant . Bright One says her favorite was when they launched the two girls out of a huge double cannon. Although she changes her favorite almost every time you ask her. The circus was wonderful fun!
        During the pre-show there was a huge crowd so The Admiral and Grandpa put the girls up on their shoulders so they could see better. Love Bug was very nervous being on her daddy's shoulders ( He is a very tall guy!). She kept a death grip on  his neck. There was no way the Admiral would have let her fall. But Love Bug didn't trust that fact and therefore spent more time worrying about  falling than watching the neat stuff unfolding before her. I realized I do that with God. Frequently heavenly Father asks me to trust him in what feels uncertain. I spend so much time worrying about the precariousness of the situation that I miss the blessing God intended for me. How many times do we miss the blessings God has for us because we are looking at the circumstances instead of God?

Father teach me to trust you. Teach me to look for your blessings instead of looking at my fears. You are not a God of fear. Help me Lord to trust and seek you in every day and every place.

Going down the same road with different scenery...

Not far from my home on the way to a friend's house there is a major intersection that has recently changed drastically.  The city is preparing to widen the road and the corner's landscape has been altered to accommodate the wider road and a new business development. It used to be as you approached this intersection going west that the hillside before you was covered in trees that hid the homes from the busy hwy. Well now the hillside is bare and the homes are skeletons marked by the fire department for practice use ( my children thought this was very cool that they would burn down a house just for practice. "Momma - can we come and watch when they practice?" ).  The road continues west and looks very different due to the construction preparations... It is going down the same road with different scenery. I feel this way each time I drive through this area. The vast changes shock me. Because I am not there on a daily basis I am not accustomed to the changes. Since those changes are on going I cannot get used to them. It is almost painful to me,  seeing the doomed houses on the bare hillside. I have a picture of how it should look painted in my mind. My mind picture still has the thick trees and underbrush. It bothers me when I see the difference. I am guessing it will bother me until the changes are finished and I can grow accustomed to the new vista of this place... until I can repaint my mind picture.

   This imagery makes me think of how often we live with something the way it is because we don't want to deal with the upheaval that goes with changing. A squeaky door, an ugly paint color, a crowded overflowing closet... we leave them because initially a greater "mess" will be created in the fixing of the problem. I have been occasionally working on the closet in our guest room. This space had become my general storage for "all that I didn't want to part with yet had no immediate use for" items. There are some memories in there and some junk. OK - lots of junk. The Admiral keeps telling me to go away for the weekend and He will take care of it. *wink*  Ummm...No. So I pile stuff on the bed, trying to decide what to do with this stuff and inevitably someone comes to stay the night and I throw it all back into the closet. I lose sight of that future picture I have for that room, staying contented with it the way it is and the closet curtain pulled shut. Then Love Bug says "are we moving to our new room soon?" with all the excited hopefulness that only a super dramatic 6 year old can unleash. OH. The vision - a bright yellow room with butterflies and each girl with her own space.... a vision that requires the closet be cleaned out... so the drywall can be hung... so the walls can be painted.... so the butterflies can take flight from my imagination...WHAT FUN!  But to paint that picture permanently I have to go down the same road and change the scenery.  I have to choose the temporary chaos to bring forth my new idea, though the interim is irritating, inconvenient and painful.

     Are you hanging on to a mind picture of what was? Are you willing to do the work, endure the changes, and move forward to what could be?

Lord, Help me to buckle down and change the scenery of my road, not just my physical road but also my spiritual one. You are the Master contractor and the artist. Help me to trust you.