The Last Oreo

Baby girl arrived in early September. Since then I have needed Oreos in my pantry. Needed.  Odd I thought cravings went away when the baby arrived. But then I'm not sure it is a craving. I've been "good". I've made the current package last 3 + weeks. It seems to satisfy me to know that they are there and I could have one if I want to.  I suppose it isn't a good idea to have Oreos on hand when one is trying to watch ones weight. Seems a dangerous habit.

I noticed that I'm down to the Last Oreos in the package yesterday. There are 6 left. I'm not panicking. I still have 6. I'm not really sure why this is important. Why there must be Oreos in my pantry, I don't know. I only know I want them there and if they are gone, I'll wander around looking for them. When they are here I'll eat 3 or 4 every couple of days and be fine. I wonder what the deal is with Oreos.

In other news I've been adding things back into my routine. Recreating normal in our house now that there are five of us. I'm exercising. Now don't worry I'm not going over board or anything. I'm running the stairs ten minutes each day. It isn't much but for now it is hard and that is enough. I've added my scripture study and quiet time back to the daily plan. I hadn't let this go completely, but was definitely slacking off. I think mother's with newborns are pretty much praying constantly. Praying that the Lord will protect their baby from the mama's sleep deprived state. Praying that we won't screw up our big kids, praying that we might get some rest. It is likely that during this season of life we are more vigilant with our prayer life than ever. Sometimes I think maybe it is just my own weirdness, but I really hope that in this I am normal. Not alone.  Laundry and meal planning have resumed with somewhat regularity. So I am beginning to feel normal. At least I think it is a type of normal. Because I look at our life and activities and realize that in this season I am not doing everything I did before baby. SO it makes me wonder if I will ever be that old normal again. I have said "No." to requests for me to be involved in things. I have said "no." to myself. That still surprises me. I find myself needing to justify my decision to not get involved. I am surprised that I am choosing to not do some things I enjoy doing. Right now those things will overwhelm me. I know I am worth making good decisions. I am worth not over taxing myself and our family. We are working on balance for this season of life. Finding it is a daily process. Each day has become an experiment in what I can handle. The discovery is fun, exhausting, wonderful, and stressful all at once. Much like watching my baby discover her her world. 

Life goes on. I recreate normal. Look for balance. I teach my big girls. I do and don't do as I can. In the end, I think the Oreos are helping me find balance.  Now I must go put them on the grocery list.

Adventures on the horizon

Life should be an adventure. A journey of experiences from which we learn and grow. Routine is important. Can adventure be part of the routine? I think so. I am out to pay more attention to the adventure. I want to focus less on the "we shoulds" and "somedays". More on the today. The Lord is bringing adventure into our lives every moment. Are you living those adventures or trying to avoid them?

Ever since I met my husband and figured out that he would be my husband I thought that if the Lord ever blessed us with children I would home school them. Then I met my first born and decided that wasn't a good idea. We are cut from the same bolt of cloth and regularly butt heads. So off to preschool she went. That was a good thing. Now, 3+ years later, she is finishing up second grade and her sister is finishing up kindergarten. These years of school days have been crazy, good, not good, ok, wonderful and my girls have learned so much! T reads everything she can get her hands on and wants more. Pixie loves "teaching" you what she has learned.

This school year has progressed and is now winding down. The Admiral and I talk about  next year with reservations. While nothing has gone "wrong" this year, it just doesn't seem like a good fit.

What to do for next school year? The scripture says that "for everything there is a season." (Ecclesiastes 3:1)  I think now is our season to home school.  The Admiral does too.

Some of my frustrations this year have to do with time. The girls want to dance, play sports, and have music lessons. They want to create stuff. We get up at 6:45/ 7ish to be ready to be at school on time. This means they have to be in bed by 8pm. The 4 hours between school letting out are filled up with homework, piano practice and dinner. I am very aware that there are many many kids who go to school all day and still take part in lots of extra- curricular activities. I just haven't figured out to make that work and everyone still get enough sleep. If we home school there are lots of daytime programs. The flexibility to play soccer for 8 weeks and then swimming, followed perhaps by gymnastics, excites me!

I have a great deal of peace with this decision. That peace is allowing me to deal with my nerves as I research curriculum, activities, and make plans. Home schooling is a huge ball to keep in the air. I must decide what other balls 

I  will let you in on a little secret.

This whole idea makes me nervous. I doubt myself. I have so much peace, I know this is where God is leading our family. Now I need to get my confidence up. So I am planning, and researching for next school year. It is so wild all the options available. So friends my prayer is for wisdom and balance.