Saturday, January 25, 2014

The Last Oreo

Baby girl arrived in early September. Since then I have needed Oreos in my pantry. Needed.  Odd I thought cravings went away when the baby arrived. But then I'm not sure it is a craving. I've been "good". I've made the current package last 3 + weeks. It seems to satisfy me to know that they are there and I could have one if I want to.  I suppose it isn't a good idea to have Oreos on hand when one is trying to watch ones weight. Seems a dangerous habit.

I noticed that I'm down to the Last Oreos in the package yesterday. There are 6 left. I'm not panicking. I still have 6. I'm not really sure why this is important. Why there must be Oreos in my pantry, I don't know. I only know I want them there and if they are gone, I'll wander around looking for them. When they are here I'll eat 3 or 4 every couple of days and be fine. I wonder what the deal is with Oreos.

In other news I've been adding things back into my routine. Recreating normal in our house now that there are five of us. I'm exercising. Now don't worry I'm not going over board or anything. I'm running the stairs ten minutes each day. It isn't much but for now it is hard and that is enough. I've added my scripture study and quiet time back to the daily plan. I hadn't let this go completely, but was definitely slacking off. I think mother's with newborns are pretty much praying constantly. Praying that the Lord will protect their baby from the mama's sleep deprived state. Praying that we won't screw up our big kids, praying that we might get some rest. It is likely that during this season of life we are more vigilant with our prayer life than ever. Sometimes I think maybe it is just my own weirdness, but I really hope that in this I am normal. Not alone.  Laundry and meal planning have resumed with somewhat regularity. So I am beginning to feel normal. At least I think it is a type of normal. Because I look at our life and activities and realize that in this season I am not doing everything I did before baby. SO it makes me wonder if I will ever be that old normal again. I have said "No." to requests for me to be involved in things. I have said "no." to myself. That still surprises me. I find myself needing to justify my decision to not get involved. I am surprised that I am choosing to not do some things I enjoy doing. Right now those things will overwhelm me. I know I am worth making good decisions. I am worth not over taxing myself and our family. We are working on balance for this season of life. Finding it is a daily process. Each day has become an experiment in what I can handle. The discovery is fun, exhausting, wonderful, and stressful all at once. Much like watching my baby discover her her world. 

Life goes on. I recreate normal. Look for balance. I teach my big girls. I do and don't do as I can. In the end, I think the Oreos are helping me find balance.  Now I must go put them on the grocery list.

1 comment:

Ellen Klaus said...

I really appreciate your perspective, especially as we anticipate being a very similar season of life. Soon. :) You are totally rocking mommmy-hood!