Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Cold Snap

January 27th, the month opened with a storm that delayed local schools reopening for a whole week. The result? Most of our activities cancelled. At the end of four and a half days at home, in the house, I was stir crazy to say nothing of the kids. So far this month public schools have had 2 full days of school. The rest of the days have been closures or delays. Today school is out again as another weather event is sweeping the midwest. The high expected today 2*.  Then you have to take into account wind chill, which makes it like -22*f. BRRRRRRR!

We home school so the closures don't really effect us but the cabin fever does. I've decided I might be the worst of the lot for cabin fever. Some days (today) I am not interested in doing school, at all. I want to cuddle under a blanket, let my kids wait on me, and watch movies all day. Doesn't that sound fabulous?  I not only have to overcome their desire to do anything other than school. I have to over come my own apathy. Surely there is a whimsical super mom hiding around here who can  make today fun and interesting. I think she might be sleeping after being on baby duty.  Alas, no there is only me and the duty which we must get to.

January 28th, Yesterday was, Odd. Just odd. I was over tired from two nights of super fussiness. I was bummed that it was too cold to go play in the snow. I felt like we had to do school because we have had lots of distractions. All of it had me down.  The Admiral asked me several times "How are you?" I kept replying "Ok." I didn't know what else to say. There wasn't anything really wrong. Nothing I could or can explain. Today I feel fine. We accomplished school in great time. Our friends came to play and play they did.  Today was a good day.

I am relieved that today was good.  Postpartum depression is not something I want to deal with this time around. I know that it is not controllable per se.  Yet I feel a little hyper-vigilant when I have an off day. I am being deliberate about eating, taking my vitamins and exercising. I am also choosing to be intentional about doing things I enjoy. Depression for me has, in the past, manifested in apathy about my hobbies and home. Feeling better today helped me realize that one or two off days doesn't mean I am spiraling into trouble. It means that because I am nervous, I am in a good place indeed. Because I am checking myself, keeping track of ups, downs and blahs - I am ok.

So will I lament this cold snap? Yes, but only because we cannot go sledding. I am thankful for it as well because the bummer weather reminded me of who I am.

I am super mom, just not every day (Thank goodness!)

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