I decided not to write back on day one. Why? Well because I am somewhat sick of day ones. Day one is a special day, a new beginning, a start. Day one implies new determination. Well I have had LOTS of day ones. I want to have a day 320 and a day "I can't remember how many because this is just who I am." I am so tired of starting and not finishing or starting and stopping. So when I looked at photograph of myself and had viscerally disgusted reaction and said to myself "You need to get serious. You need to change some things and get this stopped before you wake up and are unable to to walk!" I am a beautiful and wonderful person. The mirror doesn't show me the person I know that I am.
I promised the girls a trip to the pool at the Y. I stuck my tennis shoes in the bag on the sly so I wouldn't come up with an excuse not to go. I told the girls that I had to use the elliptical trainer for 30 minutes before we could go to the pool. So they went to child watch to play and I did 35 minutes on the machine. When we got to the pool I did some stretching and crunches.
As of today We have been back three times on schedule. I am awfully annoyed by the whole process. The breathing hard, the numbness in my feet, the time it takes. I am simultaneously proud of myself for managing 3 days. I am started again in my desire to be healthier. I want to persevere. I want to learn to like the woman in mirror. God Loves her and so should I.
Lord, I need you. I need your strength. I need your help. I want to persevere and be healthy so that I have energy to do the things you call me to. I believe your word were it says I am heir to the throne of heaven and therefore a princess, inside and out. Thank you for making me a wonderful work of your art.